there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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