No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
