Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
