a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
