Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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