im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
