I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
