Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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