Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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