yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i would punch a child for taco bell
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is Oprah even human
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
