i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Blood and glitter go together right?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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