And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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