my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
