ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i think i have herpe
just one?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize