ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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