Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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