oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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