My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
