Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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