And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
