It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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