I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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