i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
