the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is Oprah even human
I still have a little drunk in my system
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize