**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Im part way to drunk.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize