nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
