Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
