Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
