I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
