i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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