thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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