i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
