So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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