I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
