Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
