thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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