She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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