I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
