also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
