There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize