I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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