and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
