i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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