those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
