Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
