Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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