Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
