And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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