who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
