Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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