He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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