How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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