I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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