I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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