Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.

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(301): View more from Maryland

please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

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(845): View more from New York

Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.

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(661): View more from California

I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom

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(908): View more from New Jersey

OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!

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