I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize