are you still at the devil's house?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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