They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
