Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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